Just a couple of things I want to share. I figured out how to do a Scooby-Doo impersonation!!!
I was listening to some music earlier today, and I was in actual pain from the emotion I could feel. How vastly understanding I was of this song and the raw emotion behind it. I sincerely love music that pulls me and connects with me at such a deeper level, especially when it’s difficult to do that anyhow. But it got me thinking; “Have you called home?”
Seriously, this had made me cry and feel homesick. I seriously miss my family, my friends, my life back home. I know I’m following God, I have loved every minute of this adventure so far and the various mountains I’ve gone up and down, slipped down, climbed back up. But oh my lantis! I was not ready for this type of emotional battle today! I wasn’t ready to start crying, but on another level, I knew I needed to release my inner, deep pain that I have been holding in for a while.
I got the chance to talk and hear my Mom’s beautiful voice, her laugh, hear her tell me she misses me. I sincerely needed to just hear her. In the most serious way possible, she is the most important person to me in this world. Yes, people I know are also important. But gosh darnit, I have a Mom whom I can just call at anytime and hear her beautiful voice, hear her laugh and be instantly at ease, be able to release my pain that I’ve held onto, any regrets that I have, and just give them up! There is no love as a mother’s love. I seriously believe that Mothers know the most about the love of God!
This song also got me thinking. That there are other people who don’t get this blessing the same way I do. Some more hurtful than others. Why don’t I call more? Why don’t I at least message more! Seriously, why not? More so, why would I even want to sin, knowing that I could be the only person or thing in their life that sheds the light of Jesus Christ?! Why would I do such horrendous acts to please myself, while their soul hangs in the balance of Heaven and Hell?! WHY!?
Things have been changing. I’m learning how to see and understand things in a different way of life now. Seeing the beauty of God in various ways I couldn’t see before. I am also seeing how the life that I live is one of the greatest and the quietest testimonies I have as being a following of Jesus Christ! It’s been made clear to me that temptation isn’t the sin, but acting upon that temptation to please the craving is! Whether that be anger, pride, lust, gluttony, etc… Whichever Satan decides to use and craft into various ways of attacking me with each one differently, I need to rely on God more than I have ever, or at least, what I thought I had been able to do!