God has blessed me with joy! I find it in every little thing and every big thing! I don’t mean to boast about it pridefully my dear brothers and sisters, but in the fact that He has just changed so much in my life, I’m on the different side of the spectrum! One of my favorite ways to serve His kingdom is my doing manually labor. I love working my body hard, physically exhausting all of my resources, and then continuing past that! For He gives me the strength to do so!
Here recently, we have been doing some additions to our activities here at DV, and we’ve dug holes, but today we worked on one of the patios outside on of our cabins! I was honored to have the opportunity to work with it, in replacing a few boards, taking the old ones off, and putting new ones on and screwing them in! I just enjoy working hard, and all for His kingdom makes it even better! I enjoy learning new things, using tools I’ve never used before, creating things from scrap fixing things, cleaning! Just the whole works (pun included) are fantastic!
I’m slowly finding myself again homies! The person who God desires me to be, and I don’t have the glory worthy vocabulary to explain how this feels. It’s relieving, comforting, full of joy, exciting, light, bright. Picture this road, from A to B, and A is my “engulfed in depression, darkness, sinful, angry me” and B is the “tall, mountain climbing, journey, changing, resurrected Jesup” I’m a sixteenth up the mountain, no where near the top, but there, I feel the farthest I have ever been from Point A! Yes, the devil likes to think we can make a quick U-Turn, go back down Memory Lane, bring back emotions, feelings, situations (real or fake), or start new ones by bring me a “Knickknack” from the Past. Yeah, it brings me a mixture of emotions, but my God is good, great, powerful, and through these memories, I see where He was at in my life, making it all work for His glory! So yes, I do feel the pain again, I relive the memory vividly, and I break down, but man, the joy and peace from that release, giving it to God, that’s the greatest thing ever, and I will always do that over and over again! For His Glory!
Being able to serve for His name and kingdom, is such a beautiful blessing! I enjoy all the people I get to meet, make new friends, see some old ones, and love them with the love of Christ, that through our relationship, He continues to change me, daily! If I told myself a few years back that I wouldn’t be as angry, or hateful, or tired, shoot homie, I would have never believed myself! I’m ecstatic for the future, to see where God blesses me and where HE sends me! I have dreams and desires, hoping to fit them into His Will! I’m thankful for the big heart He gave me. To have these desires, interests, the way I feel for people, it’s all God given, Spirit filing. I’m passionate, loud, extroverted, punderful! I want to be able to do a lot, to serve, pray, sing, dance, play, care, understand, love. I hope to be able to have a family, reflection of and full of Christ. I desire this love that can only come from the God, the Father, Christ, the Spirit. To have His eyes, and see things from His viewpoint. To look at my future wife, seeing all her beautiful, Godly qualities. To see her passions and to encourage her to do so, no matter any circumstance. To just smile and laugh with her, sing worship with her. Oh man homie, I’m excited for what God may have in store, but all for His glory! At this time in my life, I am definitely not ready to be able to commit and to love her in the only way she deserves. I’m not able to fully commit and serve with the love of Christ yet, for I am still learning, and giving things over to Him. I don’t want to cause too much pain, and then to be told to just leave and run away. NO! I need to let go and let Christ man!