Context for the title of today’s post:
My friend McIntire and I went out and had some dinner/supper from Arby’s! We hadn’t had it in a while, and were feeling a bit adventurous! Anyhow, we stop in, order our food. I enjoy spicy food homies, so I ordered a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich with curly fries and a Root Beer, along with a Pumpkin Cheesecake Shake (reminder of my Momma), and of course, you can’t take me out in public to much, I’ll shake things up with puns! We found a table and sat down. Then we notice this exquisite table sign, small, cute, quaint. We enjoy their advertising on this small box, and then we see this label
“Do not turn table to see other sides” (paraphrased). We both lost it!!! Our thoughts commenced of why would they need to put this sign? One-hundred percent seriousness guys, I decided to act of those situations. I started to turn the table with the sign on tip of it, saying “Oh, this table sign looks nice, but I can’t see what the other sides say. I’ll just turn the table around and then I can see them!” *Turns table* McIntire almost lost his food! We laugh hysterically! Then I play it on as if I had just picked up the sign for the first time, and feeling like “Seriously, I could’ve just picked it up?” *Including high pitch voices* (Sincerely guys, you may think twice before taking me out in public Haha) I also, doing these fake situations, had made McIntire laugh too hard, and he almost choked on his curly fries. I was getting ready to do the Heimlich on him if I had to (Chokes on him, he was frying so hard to not laugh). It was such a great exchange, and delicious food! Man, those sandwiches were great (I’m also a bunny guy).

Along with joking matters, we also have our serious ones. With being a Christian, we are also told that we will endure suffering, “Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will  persecuted…” Second Timothy 4:12 ESV

We also get warned that as a Christian, trying to live for the glory of God, we will suffer. But Paul reminds and encourages us: “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” Second Corinthians 4:8-10

The devil has really been getting to me in various ways. A majority of it relating with loneliness: But he brings up the past. That’s already been said and done, and I’ve given that to God. Reminding me that I have all I need. Right now, I have family, dear brothers and sisters here at Dickson Valley. I have dear brothers and sisters back home, in Joplin, in Mexico, Pennsylvania, Missouri, Canada. I am most certainly not alone. For God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self discipline (Second Timothy 1:7) He gave that to all of us! Yes, these internal battles get hard emotionally, physically, mentally, but the God that created the universe desires and loves me, He loves you, He loves us all! “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

So what right or audacious thought do I have to put against God to tell Him no, I can’t? I don’t have what it takes Father. I’m not ready! I want to be with them! Please let me be with them! Where do I think I can try and cut a deal with God? “Oh if I do this, then I can do that, right?” See, what I do right there, I put something above God! I cut my time with God short so I can have more time with something that looks more enticing than my Lord and Savior!

I have this deep passion within me, dying to be released and committed to multiple things, but I also know that if I act on those impulses, to try and rush what God has in store, I’ll fail. I’ll fall hard, flat on my face, thirsty and hungry, running back to God to be replenished, and then leave His everlasting flow of living water and bread of life! I’ll leave that, thinking “God will strengthen me.” How can He Jesup, if you don’t cut time and choose to desire Him? To stop, and listen, to pray, to read, to write, to sing, to praise, to thank, and to send up your desires to God, asking for guidance fin His will. I need more of this! I will confidently say that I do not do this enough, and I’m suffering for it. Now hear me on this, God isn’t making me suffer, but I am making myself suffer, because I so want many other things, wanting to do them for God, but they secretly have a desire for myself. That’s not how this works homies.

A little insight (funny cause I’m tall): My heart breaks for the elderly. Some abandon in nursing homes, just needing to feel a connection with someone else, a hand hold, a hug, music to sing to. Some not treated fairly or correctly, ignored. I want to got and serve them, and love them!
My heart breaks for kids. I was watching this movie “End of Watch”. Such a great watch (always puns intended), and there were a few scenes that got me seriously emotional. Kids left in a closet so their parents can cope with their pains and dope out. But taped, and left in there, helpless by themselves. Kids, on the curve of sexual trafficking, getting traded, pampered to look valuable for some money, multiple hours of loveless sex, but just a tool for revenue. How I want to so badly wave my anger, but need to choose to love! The kids that don’t know Jesus, trying to just get on with their lives. The kids without their fathers or mothers, to not know what a man of god looks like, to not know the love of a mother, blessed to them by God.
My heart breaks for men and women going through abuse. Emotional, Verbal, Physical, Mental. to have their view of “love” shattered and tainted, to bring up taller walls, to keep others out because they don’t want to be hurt again!
How do I lift them up to God? How could God use me to help them?

I desire to serve everywhere I can, wit has many doors open that I can. I love people, and I want to serve them and love them as Jesus loves me. I need to prioritize my schooling, my education, my wants and desires to be towards and for God. I have this mountain to climb. Right now, I’m climbing with some new gear, and I’m unfamiliar with a majority of it. But God will guide me the knowledge and wisdom to know. I just need to have faith and trust in Him, and the equipment He’s given me right now, to start, and to keep climbing, to keep running up this mountain. No matter what disasters the devil decides to throw down the mountain, it’s no match for the Living God! Philippians 4:6 says: “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be make known to God.” I’m joyful as I feel this anger, this sadness, because God can and will change all of this bad to good!