I don’t know if I have the strength to go.
I’m not sure, if I have the strength to endure.
Father Almighty, give me your Joy.
I’m not a man, just a young boy.
Still learning, squirming out of my habits.
I know I need to stop it.
It’s so hard, so many trump cards.
Coming out of the Blue, just to mess with You.
Screw with your plan, trying to create a man
In your holy image. Yet I’m stuck playing scrimmage.
I feel I need more practice in order to wrap this.
I feel I need more hours, to construct my power.
But this is where I lack. I’m looking at all the stacks
In front of me, all I can see
Is My Way first. But I need to turn and exit,
Get on to Yahway, yes Yahweh, only Your Way!
I want to give you everything God. My desires for a relationship. My desires to set a fire down within the souls of my loved ones. I so badly want to scream to them that there is so much more to this life than what they see and become content with. That’s my issue. I want! Because I think it’s what you want! It is, but now’s not the time. I so badly desire to help them, when I’m just getting in the way of You Father! Please, help my desires burn away, that they make room for Your desires! Always and Forever, Thy will Be Done. Not mine, but Yours Father God! I don’t have the strength for this, please grant me Your strength, Your peace, patience, Your joy. In every circumstance, mold me and make me Yours! I desire more of you, and less of me! Please, they need You. Not me.
Help me to let go Father, that I may be depressed, but that doesn’t mean Your joy is gone, that You’ve stopped loving me! God, this is so hard, but I see! You have other plans, and I desire You!